Coaching Skills Series: 5 Questions To Answer If You Want To Build Rapport
20 May
Building rapport is probably the most important coaching skill.
I know other coaches may contradict me on this, and I understand.
In seminars conducted on coaching, Listening and Asking Effective Questions usually come up to the top.
So why do I consider Building Rapport the most important coaching skill?
Coaching is premised on rapport.
All coaching opportunities start with trust. And rapport is not simply about trust, it is about mutual trust.
Yes, you need to listen, and yes you need to ask the right questions, and these are great. But without rapport, you can ask all the questions you like, and listen to every word you coachee says, but there will never be a meeting of the minds. Instead of opening up to you, your coachee will probably think you have ulterior motives for this coaching session.
Meanwhile, you will have doubts about what your coachee is saying. You’ll focus only on your agenda and not on your coachee’s. The result is that you two will simply occupy space and have mass. You won’t matter to each other.
How do we build rapport?
The only person we trust the most on this planet is the person we see when we look at the mirror. We trust that person because we know how he or she thinks, feels, and we know this person’s dirty little secrets.
So, if there’s someone we’ll most likely trust, it’s probably someone who is most similar to us.
This is where “mirroring” comes in. Pay attention because this can get tricky.
Some books would tell you to mirror or to copy your coachee, the actions, the intonation, even the crossing of the legs. But that is just the physical aspect of mirroring.
Equally important is mirroring your coachee’s mental, emotional, and even spiritual tendencies.
5 questions to answer if you want to build rapport:
1. Is your appearance acceptable based on the venue?
You don’t need to bring out your best Sunday dress to do coaching. Just be appropriately dressed. If you are squeezing in a coaching session while in the middle of a beach company outing, then it’s okay to be in beach attire.
2. Are you in a place that is conducive to coaching?
Soundproofed and all, you cannot do coaching while in a movie theater. Just find a place where you can have a meaningful discussion free of distractions.
3. Are you understanding each other?
Sometimes, even if our volume, speed, pitch, is clear enough for a conversation to happen, the vocabulary gets in the way. Be sure to use simple words and veer away from jargon and terms only you can understand.
4. Are there similarities between you two that you can talk about, just to start the conversation?
We like chatting with like-minded people. It’s difficult to talk about how beautiful the music of Matt Monroe is if your coachee is a fresh grad. Find topics you can both relate with to make your coachee comfortable for a conversation.
5. Are you completely present in the moment?
Yes, we have domestic issues that bother us. But when you are in front of your coachee, there should only be one issue on the table, and that is your coachee’s. Leave your other issues outside the door, this is the time for your coachee.
Building Rapport is a premise for a meaningful conversation. If you want your coachee to open up, be ready for a meeting of the minds.
6 thoughts on “Coaching Skills Series: 5 Questions To Answer If You Want To Build Rapport”
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write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid
to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.
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Additionally, I’ve shared your website in my social networks
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